Kol Nidre

Kol Nidre is tonight, the start of Yom Kippur. Six hours left to make amends in the world, and then the focus must turn inwards and upwards.

There is a liturgical disagreement in our prayerbooks about whether we seek to annul our vows to God from the last Kol Nidre to the present one, or from the present one to the next. Do we seek forgiveness for promises we have failed to fulfill, or do we focus on the knowledge that we will not be perfect in the coming year? By choosing one wording and acknowledging the other, we place ourselves squarely in the middle of the past and future. On a timeline that might appear to coincide with the present, but we do not live in the present on Yom Kippur. We look at the year past and the year to come. We look inwards and upwards. And we observe the fast both to emphasize our turning away from worldly concerns and to take us out of the present.

This will be my 14th Kol Nidre with the same rabbi and cantor. For me, that creates tremendous echoes and a sense of continuity beyond reciting prayers that were written many hundreds of years ago, and eases my personal transition out of the present. Their voices are a familiar anchor and the prayers are a sturdy chain which allow me to float securely while I try to make peace. If you are trying to do the same, whether in communal services or alone, whether as part of Yom Kippur or part of a different journey, I wish peace for you and for us all.